Boracay, Philippines (Day 9)

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After getting back in stride from several days of hell in bed from some Asian stomach virus (not the way to lose that extra weight you might be carrying I might add) and I get to lose the weight of, yes, yet another man. Just call me “Good Luck Chuck” with a twist from here on out so move over Dane Cook. The twist? Well first and foremost I’m a chic. And secondly if you sleep with me you don’t fall in love with and marry the next girl (or guy) you date but you fall back in love with and marry the girl you used to date (or guy…don’t laugh as it has happened to me although not with Doogie Howser despite what has been said to the contrary).

Yes! It happened again! So this is why I say this “love story” thing I talk about is for real. It just happens to other people and, in this case, to Shaun. It took him a mere 2 weeks from the last time I saw him in Germany to replace me with an ex with a hex.  Ex with a hex is what I call these nice girls who have managed to put some sort of hex on these men so just about when they are going to fall in love with me or right after they do, it’s like an invisible lasso that yanks them from my arms and back into their own arms.

Anyway, it turns out that I continue on the road defined as insanity…you know…doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. This insanity thing is so ingrained in our nature and happens so often that even my phone knows how to write the definition for insanity before I even type it. (You know the way our phones/computers know what we are going to type before we type it i.e. offering up suggested words/spellings. Too funny.)

Even old(er) and fat(ter) and hair(ier) white, Indian, whatever men find “love”. It just happens to be in the Philippines. No kidding! This week in Boracay, “love actually” exists everywhere like Hugh Grant said it did. My first person to talk to when I arrived at Fairways and Blue Water Resort in Newcoast, Boracay was an Indian guy and he needed internet and when I say need it, he appeared to me to be in a dire emergency situation the way he was acting so I offered him my phone. He googled http://www.asiandating.com, logged in to find “Mary Jane” so he could get her phone number and address to give to his habal-habal driver and he wasn’t a bit embarrassed by it at all. Not saying he should be but he looked straight in my eyes and politely thanked me for saving the day. That’s me…the girl who helps you find someone other than me to love. (And stereotypes? It is clear from that exchange that they are oh so real!)

Anyway, I digress. Back to insanity…I romanticize relationships with men making the relationship mean more than it does and then I’m surprised when they tell me sorry I’m in love with someone else and in my case…in love with someone else again…yeah that’s me.  Pretty much every man I’ve dated ends up going back to the one they love immediately after being with me starting with my first real love – Mark. I would say I’m cursed but how can you call it a curse when you are bringing so much love and happiness to others…ugh! Yeah that’s me a giver…double ugh!

In any event,  it doesn’t change the blessings I do have despite how disturbingly plausible it is that when I pray to God to help me be a generous and kind to others spreading love and happiness, that he takes me a bit too literally and/or seriously. What do I get in return other than the knowledge that I’m “helping” others find love and happiness in this crazy world?  Well, I get two bath towels at hotels (one for my body and one for my hair), the whole bed to myself, asked everywhere I go “Alone?” and that I get to do it worldwide.  In all seriousness, that last one is not too shabby a blessing.

Today it’s at a beautiful resort in Boracay, Philippines called Fairways and Bluewater. It’s overcast so cooler today. I’m on a huge comfortable lounge chair next to the greatest infinity pool I’ve seen yet (a close second was in Ushuaia, Argentina and the fact that I can say that IS the blessing). I look out across the pool which appears to be connected to the ocean (well done Fairways) at the dimly lit sky filled with a rainbow of parasailers. I’m listening to music, drinking a Mango fruit shake, dressed in nothing but a thinly clad bathing suit and whole lot of peace. Like I said not too shabby so no “oh woe is me” even though I got dumped again via WhatsApp with the whole “you are so amazing”, “I love our time together”, “blah blah blah”,  “blah blah” oh and “blah”. Haha 😂

That’s all for now from another cheeky survivor of love just like all of you.

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